I think something inside of my head opened up.

Lately I’ve been feeling like either a) I’m being pulled around or b) being pushed towards different deities lately. (Well, if you consider Spider a deity.)

I mean, Dionysos is still well and fully there. Like if I’m on a ship visiting different islands, but I’m still tied to an ivy-wrapped anchor. But its just been… yeah. Spider is there. Recently I had another clue pop in that perhaps Spider has been here longer than I’ve thought (and a time in my life where I was breaking free of previous constraints, and even more afterwards) when I was debating making a Spider-necklace, and realized, I had one from a previous relationship where I had bought two, a bat and a spider necklace, and I got the spider one, despite not liking spiders but at the time I had bought it “just because”. Weird.

Another deity is Selene. Considering the fact that I identify as a “night wanderer”, you would think this a no-brainer. Well, not so much. When I broke away from Wicca, I left behind pretty much every idea of a mothering, moon/earth Goddess. This included Selene. It wasn’t until recently, where I had the nagging insistance to buy a sphere of Selenite (for much cheaper than I thought, and in fact found MUCH pricier elsewhere) that this idea began filtering into my life. So maybe while Spider has always been there, maybe Selene not so much? At the very least I feel broadening my relationships with other deities will help me a lot, and I hope Selene is willing to help. Because I’ve come to terms with this, I feel a lot better. I mean yeah other people are going to douche up connections between humans and Selene, and portray a really bad fluffy-pagan look to the “outside”, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a meaningful connection with Selene. And its pretty apt (like I said before night = moon). You really can’t have the night without a moon, even if we can’t see it.

I have found numerous connections between Selene and Dionysos, and even Selene and Kybele (in one myth Selene nutures and suckles the baby Nemean Lion in a “two-faced” cave; in another myth when a lunar eclipse occures Selene becomes frenzied and enraged and her priests have to clash symbols to break her out of it, as well as stop any witches from trying to drink Selene’s blood). Needless to say, it is AWESOME! I’m going to make another post listing all the connections Selene has, which primarily come from Nonnus’ Dionysiaca, but its still a valid piece of history and myth. However I don’t think all the mentions of Selene were used needlessly, and in fact were put their purposefully (or, if you believe it, he was actually recording “true” myth).

Of course now this has led me to try and write out a more lengthy version of Selene and her relationship with the Nemean Lion (but more from the angle of the Lion being the offspring of Khimaira and Orthros, rather than between Selene and Zeus). Its probably going to be really sad, and my writing skills are rusty but I want to do it.

But man.. I feel when this is all over and I get a break, I am going to crash hard. Ugh. Any other gods want to take up residence? No I’m just kidding please don’t my brain isn’t big enough!!

A weird connection. Or someone saying hello?

So, on the first game night me and my friends had (sadly the ONLY one, so far) I was researching Spider for an odd reason.

Now this may not be so odd to you guys who know Her (or Him, as the case may be). Wednesday was the game night. And Spider has some connections with Hermes. And Wednesday is a day some followers to him dedicate to this god, due to his connections with Woden, I believe.

I wasn’t really giving it much thought, tbh. I’m a knowledge-whore (rather than a library-whore or a book-whore, methinks). When I want to know something, I research it to death. And when I was looking up stuff on Spider, I delved deeper. I was curious. “Who are you, little black thing with eight legs? Where are you scuttling off to?”

And so I followed. I’m not going to lie and tell you guys I had some big spiritual revelations (from what I’ve heard about Spider, she isn’t necessarily all that big on the flash-boom-revelations when not in trance, it seems) or anything like that. But I think its something akin to Dionysos’ little tune that has me coming back each time. And mayhaps he is pointing me in the direction of Spider?

Because just now, after looking at some of sannion ’s post on her, I feel like someone dropped a tiny lightbulb on my head. Eight is a sacred number to her and Hermes. And apparently fours. When I got off my computer to join my comrades in a game of cards, during the first came I believe I had two cards in my hands, the four of clubs and the four of spades. And instantly I thought “Spider”. I don’t know why I did. At the time I hadn’t seen anything particularily relevant to Spider and numbers (or anything that stuck in my head at least) nor any connection to card decks. But it just happened and I stored it away for later masticating (that thing that cows do when they chew their food for long periods of time).

Just now I thought: “What if that was a sign from Spider? Saying: “I’m here” ?”

Universe: *drops tiny lightbulb*

Me: …. Oh.

I should also note that earlier tonight I was contemplating boundaries while researching Spider, and once again affirmed the thought that Dionysos is a god of boundaries and breaking them… however it is more breaking the boundaries we HAVE rather than the ones we already BROKE. I’ve broken boundaries of gender, sexuality, academia, spirituality, relationships (seriously, you people have no idea what kind of fanfiction I read), gaming, etc. But I have a lot more boundaries to break. And maybe thats why Spider is crawling her way into my life. Spiders ick me. That is a boundary I’m not so willing to break.

“Say good bye to that boundary, Nykti.”

“…. D: ”